As a Christian worker it’s possible for me to feel insecure sometimes, leading to comparison. I’m human, so I have this tendency. Unfortunately, this makes me feel isolated, or I rollercoaster between feelings of pride and depression depending on how I feel I am measuring up to the status quo. However, I have choices when I feel this tendency creeping in.  

To mask insecurities I can feign confidence or choose bravado. We’ve all seen this happen and it’s unattractive – especially when we see it in ourselves. Honesty would lead most of us to confess we’ve been there.  

Somehow, when a group of Christian workers are together, the conversation can easily roll around to educational accomplishments, spiritual pedigrees, proof of busyness, etc. An almost imperceptible atmosphere of comparison and insecurity strikes. It can be tempting to join in. 

Bravado: a bold manner or show of boldness intended to impress or intimidate (Oxford Languages). 

Bravado can be quiet or loud. With experience, it can be used in a manner palatable to the Christian culture, thus making it easier to make oneself feel bigger and others smaller. It is harmful even though the intent may be to mask one’s own insecurities. Everyone in the conversation leaves feeling worse than before. It is impossible to truly serve others or give life when one’s motivation is to seek validation. 

What if instead I choose Quiet Confidence? This does not mean literally being quiet; although that can be wise. I like to think of Quiet Confidence as trusting in my value to God and ability to help others – whether or not it is publicly acknowledged. 

With Quiet Confidence I can genuinely value others and serve freely because I am not seeking validation. I was already validated, accepted, and free – long before any accolades or accomplishments came my way. There is no comparison or competing for scraps of worth, only trust in my truest identity as the Beloved.  

Even when my feelings do not match up with my Belovedness, I want to choose to simply do my work well without checking to see if anyone is watching. When comparing or competing is going on, I want to walk away, choosing life and freedom. 

Jesus did this so well – no matter if others were validating Him, hating Him, or indifferent. He already knew who He was and the value of His work. He was able to love God and others freely from His secure identity. 

I find this quality irresistible. This is the way I want to live. When I begin to feel insecure, I want to ask myself why and instead choose Quiet Confidence that trusts God, giving life to myself and others.